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GONE It’s easy to want someone dead. Take this guy who removed the muffler from his Harley, now tearing down the block at 3 a.m., or the dickhead flicking a lit cigarette from his car to the sidewalk. Something tells me the woman tossing chicken bones under the bus seat, now licking her fingers, is of no use to the world. Doubtless if they were weeping in confessionals over their small though highly revealing offenses, or scribbling apologies in journals, I’d feel differently. And don’t get me wrong: I’d rather not be the one to gun down the Harley guy— though there are excellent sight-lines from my fire escape. I’d just as soon he plunge quietly into a tectonic gap in 7th Avenue, volunteer for long experiments in orbit, beta test those new exploding cell phones. I never feel this way towards kids I teach in the detention center, though when they’re older, fully tattooed and towering over me with hardened contempt, hollering back to one another as they march in gangs through the subway car— yeah, maybe then I’ll want them gone. They tell me they want to die young, draw graffiti that translates to leaving a good corpse. They brag to one another about throwing their dogs off the roof, and how badly their stepfathers beat them. When I was six my father’s father shuffled to where I was playing on the living room rug, took my head in his hands and rammed it into the coffee table. I later was told he’d been down the hall trying to take a nap and heard me laughing. I was six and he flung my head into a table. He’s dead now. What else do you need to know about him? Douglas Goetsch from Your Whole Life |
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